reflection

Usually by now I’d be on dead silent mode due to winter break right around the corner. However there’s something that really sparked my drive and leaving me inspired to get out there and do some work! fat and lazy

“I grew up in this household, there was this understanding where if someone doesn’t have a place to stay and if there was a way for you to help then you helped, we weren’t the most well off people in town, but my parents understood if you need to help someone they they should help them if you can connect with them then you connect.”-Seth Godin

I think for this is as an introduction he really sucked me in with this quote. With this I would like to point out that this is the environment that I’ve been taught personally to live. I am personally catholic and throughout my life I’ve been really attached in the teachings of what I learn about my faith day to day. One significant role model that we as Catholics look up to is Jesus. Now Jesus is someone that everyone knows about. He has been called by many names, savior, humble, all-giving, and essentially any synonym of giving. Out of the one to many core lessons that has been taught through Jesus, I think the most obvious one and one we are all familiar with is Love one another as I have loved you. When you hear this you think “How is Jesus so capable of doing all of this…this is so hard and i keep screwing up so much :(.”

Mistakes…oh the mistakes. Something we come across in our lives day to day. As I was listening to Seth Godin podcast I personally was on the verge of tearing up when Seth brings up is when he states “After years and years of working on a project, and it might just be over, is this something we flee from or is this something that tells us we’re alive?” Now for me this is where I really want to work on and sparked my mind of thinking when I heard these words coming out of Godin’s mouth. This reminded me of major throwbacks to last year of my high school English Honors 2 class. Something I wish that I could have back then that I have right now is the motivation and the will to really take that compass that Godin talks about and understand the true North to find the solution in an interesting way. The reason why I believe that I was so non motivated was the way the class was. The teacher in the class said, “to succeeded in my class you have to do more than talk the talk but walk the walk.” As weeks and weeks came by, the work I did in that class to me was pointless. Many of the other students even believed that the lessons plans that the teacher was giving us wasn’t really useful and it was a time consumer for the fifty-five minutes of class. Most of the consistent things we did in class was just “read independently” or “writing an essay that the teacher wont even read”. However when we did do things many of the students in the class felt like the teacher was practically giving grades based off of whether he liked you or not. At this point…lets just say I haven’t presented myself as I’ve wanted to in that class. Most days I would be half asleep due to sleep deprivation from doing many of the reading assignments in that class. Now the thing that to note here is that the discussion topics that were asked during class were very specific such as, “what is the meaning of this sentence on page number___” . Now for me this was a real challenge as it was so hard for me to analyze each and every sentence without having an official instruction besides “read the book carefully” So whenever the teacher would call on me I’d look like a walnut not knowing the answer, therefore giving a bad impression. So by the time we finally got to this project that we decided to do called Innovation project. I was essentially not really wanting to even attempt to try something new and creative because I knew my grade was gonna be set in stone and everyone knew that. However I did go out and decide to make short films something that requires creativity. This was somewhat enjoyable as I’ve never really personally owned a professional DSLR, but when I was introduced to it I was sucked in. Now after countless hours of working and editing I thought that maybe i could turn things around and change the way the teacher thought about me. Featured Image -- 660

When we finally got to present our projects at something called the share fair, I was really proud to represent it. Many of the adults and students were astounded by how they felt about the short video we made. After receiving the stunning results, I finally got to show it off just to our class as a presentation. Once I showed it off all I got was a casual look from the teacher, but failing to realize my work didn’t go anywhere as nothing changed in that class and that teacher still gave me the same grade as if I didn’t do anything in that class. This is where the stump really hit me and really shut me down. All my motivation was loss and I was way past the cliff as Godin brings in his talk. At this point I lost all my will to try and create things or even attempt to put work into it.

Now let’s fast forward a couple years coming into AP English three which was early August. Still my mind was unmotivated to work as I thought the class would be the same as usual due to last year. However this felt different. I was greeted with many of these things that was trying to spark my mind to work and it was slowly working. The environment that I’ve felt was like no “regular english class” As the teacher Mr. Ziebarth introduced me to what it’s like to do real writing. Finally the mind was sparked. what was once cliche is now industrialization time. My mind was always excited to be analyzing all these different types of prompts and doing “Zero draft” on such random topics. What once for me was a fifty five minute class, turned into a workshop to receive feedback and be able to actually improve. As Godin pointed out we are flying too low.

Now things have changed as I’ve quickly very interesting to explore the topic of writing…..and to finally keep exploring with that compass and finally embrace the true meaning of writing of what’s in store for me and the rest of the year!!!

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